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Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Good deed?

26 September 2012
Did a tiny good deed today :')  There's nothing to be proud of..just have the sudden urge to note down and share my feelings. Heavy rain this morning. Rushed to college. Extra alot things to carry today..i mean seriously WHY TODAY? .__. 1word, 5letters - HEAVY. SUPER DUPER VEGETABLE ULTIMATE HEAVY. No joke, the loads, i can barely even walk properly.. Felt that my steps were so unstable as if i can really fall anytime. Laptop, box of marker pens, two gigantic dictionary-like library books which need to be return today, etc.. I mean seriously?! It is really possible for me to carry all that?! Situation got worse because it's raining cats and dogs! == No choice, just do it. And so..when i was heading to the class, quite a distance, need to wait for traffic lights and stuffs..then out of sudden i realized a girl was walking behind me. And she doesn't have a umbrella. I turned and glance through. Our eyes met. We kept walking. For a moment, i hesitated. Not about whether to help or not to help, but about how to open my mouth and talked to her -___- LOL you know me, i rarely talk to strangers zzz. And so i finally gathered all my courage and offered her to share my tiny umbrella. She agreed and we walked all the way together.

No, i'm not writing this to boast or show off. You know, actually i do have a choice whether to help her or not. I was carrying heavy loads and the umbrella is small. I can actually act nothing, act blind and be selfish. But thank God, i did not. Thank God i took the initiative to offer her help instead of waiting for her to ask me, as i don't think she will either. If this morning i choose to ignore her, i think i will regret. It will forever remain a cruel memory in my life. As i refresh back the incident today, i'm actually kinda proud of myself and glad. I just can't stop myself from thinking what happen today. Helping others can actually makes one feel happier. I'm happy. Just imagine that i'm her. I will be extremely grateful and thankful when someone offer help just when you extremely need it. Yeap, it is actually nothing.. Just a small tiny not like i safe a person's life or donated million dollars to the charity or what..but yea, i'm still glad that i helped her :') "Treat people like how you want them to treat you. To help or not to help is an option. You may think that you don't make any difference, but you do". Experience gained :) Happy.

Life's great.

Friday, 7 September 2012

Being Shy

7 September 2012
My weakness - being shy. I'm shy, and i cant help it. It's the fact. My level of shyness is actually kinda serious :( lol. Especially when i'm with strangers. But of course when i'm with my best buddies, the word 'shy' dot exist :p haha. Well, honestly, i'm a very shy person. I cant even talk to a person properly or even look properly at them when we are having a conversation face to face. I just cant do it. I tried, but i failed. I just cant face / look / eye contact with them. Its not like i purposely do that, but my eyes just naturally turn away when we are speaking. I know its not right, its rude to do so, its show no respect, but i just cant help it :( Perhaps some of them might also thinks that i'm so arrogant and unfriendly. Well, i already got used to this kind of situation. Hopeless. Not to mention if its a guy. Situation got worse. Awkward. I just feel so uneasy talking to guys, to opposite sex. No idea why. Plus i'm kinda antisocial(?) and not a very humour person. At times, i seriously don't know how respond or reply a conversation. No comment. I have nothing much to say. What worse is when some of them talk about something that they thinks is funny, i wouldn't laugh. I will just stare at them and they will stare at me back. Or maybe i will fake a smile. Sometimes. To make the atmosphere not so awkward :/ Pathetic.